LAST GREAT READS FOR APRIL, 2016

The Sword of Justice, by Leif G. W. Persson

The absolute antithesis to the usual burnt-out but noble detective in thriller fiction returns, much to every Swedish Noir readers’ delight:  Detective Superintendent Evert Bäckström rears his head again, corpulent, crafty and amoral as ever – and just as successful, mainly because he is so expert at ‘making a bit on the side’ (what else is a man to do to supplement the basic wage?), and manipulating every system to his advantage.

He is still not popular (see 2014 review below) with those lesser beings, his colleagues;  they know that every time he says – nearly every day – that he has to attend an important meeting at Headquarters in Stockholm he is really skyving off;  filling his fat little frame with expensive food and drink, then going home to sleep the sleep of the just and/or avail himself of obliging female company, thanks to his growing reputation as Sweden’s premier crime fighter.  His colleagues will never take kindly to all the orders and legwork he dispenses, particularly when his own dubious habits and chronic laziness are well known:  yep, they’d love to see him fall flat on his smug face, preferably in something nasty and foul-smelling, but will it ever happen?

Not immediately, for Our Hero has received wonderful news:  Thomas Eriksson, Sweden’s most crooked defence lawyer has been found murdered at his home, along with his huge Rotweiler.  The police are hardly at a loss to name suspects;  there are so many who want Eriksson dead that it will take considerable time to cross them off their list of ‘people of interest to the investigation’ – which (naturally) Bäckström is heading:  as far as he is concerned, someone has done Sweden an enormous favour ridding it of such vermin – he is glad Eriksson is dead;  still, it is up to him (and his grumbling, mumbling team) to wield The Sword of Justice and apprehend the killer.

Mr Persson is a master of characterisation – he has created an anti-hero absolutely unforgettable;  portly, gluttonous, an unashamed leaker of info to the newspapers (for a hefty consideration) as the investigation continues, but a sharp little man intelligent and shrewd enough to figure out every angle of what is fast becoming a crime involving art fraud, the Swedish Mafia and – last but not least – a trail that could lead to (surely not!) – the Swedish monarchy.

And let us not forget Bäckström’s regrettable impulse buy:  Isak the parrot, on his best behaviour in the Pet Shop, only to turn into the Parrot from Hell when his new owner brought him home.  Isak plays a minor but important role in proceedings, becoming in his own little way as memorable as his owner, who trusts and prays that he will not meet the same fate. 

Leif Persson has produced yet another winner:  he effortlessly patrols Jo Nesbo country – with dark satire and delicious humour.  SIX STARS!

He Who Kills the Dragon, by Leif G. W. Persson

Detective Superintendent Evert Bäckström, surely the most outrageous policeman in Swedish thriller fiction, returns to shock and infuriate his long-suffering colleagues – not to mention the reader – in Mr Persson’s latest offering.

Bäckström has had some narrow escapes since ‘Linda – As in the Linda Murder’ which have nothing to do with apprehending murderers;  rather, the long arm of the law has reached out to grab him (him, shining example of all that is noble and honourable in the Force.  The nerve of them!) and it has taken all his resourcefulness to fend off charges of bribery, corruption – you name it – thrown at him, the result being not dismissal, as so many of his colleagues hoped, but exile for a year or two following up traffic violations - for Bäckström has an influential relative in the Police Association, so there!  He is not incorruptible (as everyone already knows), just immovable.

When the story opens, Our Hero through various circumstances has been recalled to his usual duties, investigating the murder of an elderly pensioner in a block of flats in suburban Stockholm.  He should be delighted to be back on the job, delegating with his usual superb flair all the work so that he ends up doing very little;  instead, he is in the depths of despair after a compulsory visit to the Police Doctor who prescribes immediate weight-loss,  lots of daily exercise and NO ALCOHOL – or else. 

Bäckström is inconsolable.  Life is shit.  Eating lettuce leaves and drinking water is no way to live for a man of his appetites;  he’s a gourmet, a connoisseur of strong drink and a fearless wielder of his Super Salami with various lucky partners in the comfort of his Hästens bed:  if this is his future, he might as well resign from life right now. 

Until God conveniently appears in a dream to Bäckström as he tossed and turned (on his Hästens bed) on the third day of his travail and Lo!  God tells him to forget about pursuing the new path;  the old path is his true path, so get back on it.  What else can Bäckström do but obey?  One doesn’t argue with God!

After a very satisfying meal of every food he loves and thought he’d never eat again, followed by a couple of very good beers, Our Hero is ready to concentrate again on his current murder investigation, and because he has a very good staff and a truly excellent Russian civilian investigator, it isn’t long before what everyone thought was the murder of an old pisshead by another old pisshead and all done and dusted by the weekend, turns out to be something much more challenging and complicated.

As before, Mr Persson gives us a wealth of detail, including mini-biographies of all the minor characters, but there is less sermonising than in ‘The Linda Murder.’  In this story that is not so important, for the dreadful Bäckström is such a force of nature and so outrageously entertaining that there is little room this time round for polemics - and it is an added pleasure to discover that (when he does it) he is actually very good at his job.  Much to the frustration of his superiors, most of whom detest him to a greater or lesser degree, the ‘fat little bastard’ CAN solve serious crimes and get results – whether they like it or not.  And Bäckström finds out that he who kills the dragon gets the princess – and what a princess!  He’s scared stiff.  FIVE STARS.

Riders, by Veronica Rossi                        Young Adult

18-year-old Army recruit Gideon Blake dies whilst training to be a part of the elite Ranger Regiment;  on a training jump his main parachute fails to open and he plunges thousands of feet to his death.  He knows he died;  no-one could survive such a fall, but here he is in hospital, nursing terrible injuries that will take months of rehab – but as if that weren’t miraculous enough, his broken bones seem to be healing at a crazily rapid rate, so quickly that he is discharged early into his mother’s care.  And that’s when life gets really weird, for he now wears a bracelet that seems moulded to his wrist, a bracelet made of an unknown red metal.  He can’t remove it.

And Gideon seems to inspire aggression in people who had hitherto regarded him with kindness and friendship;  as he heals (ever more rapidly) he decides to seek some kind of peace with his twin sister Anna, a college student in San Francisco, only to find himself mentally influencing her to drop her waste-of-space boyfriend (no loss there, he’s doing her a favour) and changing the mood of a student party, especially as it seems to be infiltrated by a gang of people so evil he is filled with a raging need to destroy them utterly:  he will make WAR on them all!

Until Daryn, a mysterious girl appears at the same time, dragging him away from doing just that, and appraising him of his new role in life:  he HAS died, but has been reborn as one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, called up again to fight the terrible scourge of evil that manifests itself now as The Kindred.  Gideon is War, and he and Daryn must find Conquest, Famine and Death as quickly as possible so that they can prevent the Kindred from world domination. 

Ms Rossi has written some breathtaking fantasy here with nail-biting action on every page.  Her characterisations of the other Horsemen are as spectacular as they should be, and their weapons and steeds deserve special mention, particularly Gideon’s Red Horse, flames pulsing from mane to tail and the most terrifying thing he has ever seen:  how will he ever learn to ride it when it wants to kill him if he even moves his eyeballs? 

There is no shortage of smart, funny dialogue – Gideon is a motor mouth supremo, especially in his exchanges with Death, who loathes him sufficiently enough to try to cut him down with his scythe – often, but eventually the Horsemen unite as they must to join the great battle of Good versus Evil:  may they triumph, but we will have to wait for the sequel to find out.  FIVE STARS

MORE GREAT READS FOR APRIL, 2016

The Unfortunate Englishman, by John Lawton

Mr Lawton first introduced Joe Wilderness to us in 2013 with ‘Then We Take Berlin’, (see review below) a furiously-paced thriller set in Post War Germany:  at that time Joe was a young Cockney chancer – with special abilities, sent to Hamburg as a very junior intelligence officer.  Now, twenty years later, he is once again with British Intelligence – but only because it’s the only way he can get out of a German prison for a botched job involving a CIA ‘buddy’ who has proved to be anything but.  His former boss, ex Lt. Colonel Burne-Jones is happy to have him ‘back on board’ at MI6;  as before he has a particular job in mind well-suited to Joe’s great spying and language talents (not to mention burglary skills) – but should Joe refuse this kind offer to return to the fold, then there is nothing else for it but to leave him languishing in a West German prison for a very long time.

Once again Joe is a Spook, but with age comes experience and he really is exceptional at what he is so reluctant to do – which is to train a British Metallurgist to ferret out information about Soviet Atomic Weapons Complexes on the pretext of purchasing zinc and indium from them.  Geoffrey Masefield has plenty of bona fide credentials but Joe senses that Our Geoffrey is more seduced by the romantic fictional dream of being a spy, than the actual nuts and bolts of being one:  shouldn’t he have one of those tiny cameras?  No?  Well, what about a gun at the very least?  Spymaster and pupil are at loggerheads and despite all of Joe’s reservations, Our Geoffrey, Secret Agent, is sent off to the Soviet Union to do his worst.  Which he does, eventually ending up in Moscow’s notorious Lubyanka prison.

It gives Joe no pleasure to have to say ‘I told you so’ to Burne-Jones – who is also his father-in-law (yes, twenty years can produce some surprises:  Joe is married to the Boss's daughter Judy and has twin daughters, Molly and Joan, whom he thought he would never take to but loves to bits) and now he is faced with a return to Berlin, that city of wrecked opportunities, dreams and promises, there to find the best, safest and easiest way out of the fiasco Our Geoffrey has created – and no-one is more surprised than he to be approached by the Russians themselves:  what about a spy swap?  With conditions, of course.  Aren’t there always?  And when Joe hears what those conditions are, the honourable intelligence officer becomes the Artful Dodger once again, with reluctant help from his former henchmen.  He has been made an offer he can’t refuse.

Mr Lawton has produced a sequel to ‘Then We Take Berlin’ which (dare I say it?) is even better:  most of the characters which delighted the reader in the first book return to entertain again;  his plotting is just as fast paced and action-packed and the dialogue is again smart, funny and entirely credible.  Mr Lawton has yet to drink from the same flask as John Le Carre, but he is sitting at the same table!  FIVE STARS

Then We Take Berlin, by John Lawton

John (known as Joe) is a Cockney wide boy, a thief trained to the nth degree by his grandfather Abner, who adopts him when his alcoholic mother is killed by a German bomb whilst enjoying a lunchtime G and T at the local pub.  Joe has many things stacked against him, not least his East End origins and the bestiality of his father, a soldier who returns infrequently from battle to take out the horrors and evil of war on his 13 year old son.  Life, especially during the London blitz would be unendurable were it not for the home of sorts provided by his grandfather, and Joe’s love of reading – the best form of escapism ever.  (And I’m sure every dedicated reader knows that.)  He is a ‘word child’:  he has a gift for languages ; he can imitate successfully any accent;  he is  a boy of ferocious intelligence but devoid of scruples – in short,  he is the perfect apprentice thief.  And he is an apt pupil.

All continues as normal in Joe’s world until Abner has a fatal accident, and necessity dictates a change of address;  the war has come to an end but Joe’s draft papers arrive, and he is sent to the Royal Air Force, there to stir up so much trouble that he is constantly in ‘the glasshouse’ for insubordination – until his many and doubtful talents come to the attention of Lt. Col. Burne-Jones, an intelligence officer who sees in Joe his true calling:  cat burglar and spy for the British Secret Service.  After a crash course in German and Russian, he is despatched to Hamburg, ostensibly as a clerk, but also to check on various citizens who swear they endured six years of the Nazis without becoming one of them.

Germany:  broken country of ruined cities and a vanquished and traumatised population – the perfect breeding ground for rackets and the black market.  Joe the Chancer is in his element.  There is money to be made, quite apart from his clandestine activities on behalf of His Majesty.  He’s happy as the proverbial pig in shite – and then he meets Nell.

Nell, short for Christina Helene von Raeder Burkhardt, patriotic Berliner and aristocratic German , and at twenty already a victim of tragedy at the hands of the Nazis is trying to atone for the terrible sins of her countrymen, witnessed first hand at Belsen.  She occupies a high moral ground, ultimately inaccessible to Joe the Rogue;  he finds her principled view of the world amusing, strange and naïve:  his experience of life has taught him that principles mean nothing – there is only money, and everyone has his price, including himself.

Mr Lawton has given us a gripping read, a searing account of man’s inhumanity to man, and characters that live and breathe on the page.

Joe is the Artful Dodger of the Second World War, endearing, charming, amoral, and bent as a corkscrew.  No good can come of his liaison with Nell, his polar opposite, but the reader hopes until the bitter end that the impossible will happen – this is a novel, after all!  Regardless of the outcome, John Lawton has written a page-turner par excellence:  highly recommended 

               

GREAT READS FOR APRIL, 2016

The Ibis Trilogy, by Amitav Ghosh

Flood Of Fire, Book Three

Amitav Ghosh concludes his great sprawling saga of the 1840’s opium Wars with the Flood of Fire unleashed upon the Chinese by the British for daring to oppose their ‘lawful, honest and just’ attempts to trade in opium in China.  Such was the economic sway of the East India Company and its various powerful representatives that the British Government consented to send troops to China to bring that unruly nation to heel;  it was unthinkable that pig-tailed heathen should refuse God-fearing and righteous attempts by virtuous opium merchants to educate and guide them in matters of commerce and trade:  they would have to be taught a lesson.

It has taken Mr Ghosh more than five years to produce this last great story, and I have to admit that I had forgotten some of the characters and a lot of the detail of the first two volumes ( see below ) but his account of Britain’s shameful part in subjugating and humiliating a teeming, populous nation in the name of the twin Gods Money and Profit is first rate, written in a style both lucid and exciting.

The fates of several of the characters are resolved for good or ill here;  the corruption of Zachary Reid, an honourable young second mate on the Ibis is gradual and inexorable, but one still reaches the end of the trilogy hoping that he will redeem himself, even though he sells his soul to not one devil but two when Hong Kong is ceded to the British.

Throughout this story is demonstrated the casual superiority and careless racism directed by British Officers to the men who laid down their lives for them in China:  the Indian Sepoys who fought like tigers for their commanders but were regarded as completely expendable;  one such career man being Kesri Singh, whose Army career evolves into different duties, the keeper of terrible secrets being one.

What an epic adventure this trilogy is, but what leaps out more than all the vividly drawn characters – and there are so many! – is the beautiful Ibis, used for slave-trading and opium transport, but untouched by the evil that men used her for:  she is the great beating heart of this trilogy, the vital life-saving connection for all who need to escape.  SIX STARS!   

Sea of Poppies, Book One

This novel is the first book of a trilogy, and an exhaustive account of Britain’s infamous Opium trade, poppies grown and manufactured into the drug  in India and sold to China in a bid to unman and enslave both populations – until the Chinese Mandarins decide to block further imports of the poppy to their country, thus starting the Opium Wars in the late 1830s, a conflict championed by all ‘right-thinking’ British importers and supporters of Free Trade everywhere – or more correctly, a fight by them to retain the huge profits and enormous riches gained in living off the misery of others.  This story is an ambitious undertaking;  a great sprawling mess of a tale centred around the 1838 voyage of the Ibis, a two-masted schooner fitted out originally as a slaver, then altered minimally after the abolition of slavery to transport indentured Indian labourers to the Mauritius Islands.  The Ibis’s next port of call is  Canton, there to deliver its supplementary cargo of Opium, but such is the detail, the scene-setting, the sheer sweep of the story that at the end of Book One the Ibis is nowhere near Mauritius, but instead fighting a mighty storm, with an officer murdered and several escapees deciding to take their chances in a stolen longboat – Mein Gott!  What an ending:  I am nearly as much up in the air as the crashing waves and screeching winds so thrillingly described by Mr. Ghosh, and am still marveling at the ease with which he has brought an initially bewildering and polyglot array of characters (almost a cast of thousands, and every one has a backstory) into being, then pared them down convincingly until the remainder through many a different circumstance end up as voyagers on the Ibis.  This novel is also notable for the almost unintelligible mixture of Hindusthani, Urdu, Lascar and old British slang used as dialogue, and I had great fun reading the origins of many of our English words still in use today. Mr. Ghosh has crafted an adventure story in the fine tradition of the great 19^th century classics;  he’s a worthy successor to Conrad, Defoe and Melville and I am looking forward with great anticipation to Volume 2, ‘River of Smoke’.  A treat is surely in store, and I hope Mr. Ghosh is hard at work on volume 3.  Highly recommended.

River of Smoke, Book Two

This is the second book of Amitav Ghosh’s Ibis Trilogy.  At the end of  ‘Sea of Poppies’( Book one)  the Ibis, a converted slave ship carrying indentured Indian labourers to Mauritius, is caught in a huge storm.  Two condemned prisoners and three Lascars murder an officer, escape the ship and are thought drowned :   the ship’s first mate is held responsible, not for the loss of life of those worthless monkeys, but for the danger that was caused to the main shipment, a huge cargo of opium on its way to the Chinese port of Canton. 

It was cruel of Mr. Ghosh to leave the reader in such suspense, but ‘River of Smoke’ answers all the questions raised in the first novel, and presents us with a host of fascinating new characters to enjoy.  There is a welcome reintroduction to some of the main protagonists of Book One, but some take a back seat as the action shifts from Calcutta to Canton.  Mr. Ghosh writes of his characters with gusto and verve and it is nothing less than a delight to follow their adventures, framed against the background of Britain’s iniquitous embrace of the Opium Trade, all in the name of ‘free’ enterprise.  Exhaustive research has been undertaken to present an authentic account of the everyday life and business in ‘Fanqui-town’ enclave of the  fabulously rich British Traders:  not permitted to reside in Canton itself, they nevertheless carve for themselves fiefdoms that ignore Chinese laws completely, believing themselves in their monumental arrogance to be above and beyond the control of the heathen devils.   Chinese objections to the enslavement of their population to the poppy go unheeded until a powerful new High Commissioner is appointed by the Emperor – a scholar, an intellectual, a poet -  and worst of all incorruptible,  he  takes up the cudgels on behalf of his people and engages the traders in the first battle of what is to become known as the British Opium Wars. 

Mr. Ghosh’s meticulous attention to fact and his great gifts for imagery and characterization make this story a winner;  my opinion after reading ‘Sea of Poppies’ was that he is a worthy successor to the great 19^th century adventure novelists, and this still holds true with ‘River of Smoke’:  when Book Three is read, I know that I will regret this great trilogy coming to an end.  Highly recommended.

MORE GREAT READS FOR MARCH, 2016

Before it Breaks, by Dave Warner

            Why is it that the main protagonists of most crime novels are divorced, burnt-out, unloved and unlovable – but unerringly fabulous at their jobs?  Their personal lives are always rubbish, but they always find out Whodunnit, and why.  ‘Before it Breaks’ is no different except for its setting, for all the action takes place in Broome, Western Australia, and as much as kiwis and Aussies like to tout their differences, there is much about everyday life that is indistinguishable between our two countries, as this good story reveals:  readers from both countries this end of the world will recognise places, characters – and speech patterns that are comfortingly familiar on either side of the Tasman:  for that reason alone this story, despite its tried and true formula, makes a very good foray into the crime genre.

            Detective Inspector Daniel Clement, once a star of the Perth Police Department, has transferred himself to Broome, a tourist town far to the north of the State.  His talents are wasted there as local crime is confined to pub brawls and petty thieving, but his ex-wife Marilyn and only child, Phoebe, are living there;  he wants to be near to his daughter, even if it means facing the Gorgon that is his mother-in-law whenever he makes contact.  He knows that if he stays in Perth his daughter will grow away from him very quickly.  Broome and its obvious disadvantages will have to be his home for the next while, whether he likes it or not.

            Until two tourists report gunshots in the vicinity of Jasper’s Creek, home of crocodiles and other nasties (none of those here in Kiwiland!).  An investigation reveals a body partly submerged in the water – untouched by the Croc, but very dead just the same from a hideous blow to the head.  The corpse is revealed to be Dieter Schaffer, a semi-reclusive ex-policeman from Germany and from his current lifestyle a dope grower, gambler and general layabout.  Initially the reason for the crime is thought to be the marijuana he supplied – a deal made with someone that went sour – until another body is discovered, this time a Maori member of a bikie gang resident in the area:  the waters are starting to get muddy, and as Clement delves deeper into the mystery he discovers (as usual) that things are NEVER as they seem.

            Enquiries with the German Police reveal that the first victim, Dieter Schaffer, was part of an undercover operation in Hamburg which resulted in the murder and dismemberment of a fine officer:  Clement knows there is a connection – but what?

            Add to that the imminent threat of a huge cyclone ready to bear down on Broome and outlying areas and Mr Warner should have created more fear and dread than a body should rightly stand – BUT!

            The action and pace are very uneven.  The plot is almost too busy and there are flashbacks that distract when they should do the opposite.  When the murderer and his motives are finally revealed, instead of thinking ‘No way – it couldn’t have been!’ this reader was thinking ‘So much for the cyclone.  It didn’t blow ME away.’  Which is a shame.  I don’t know why Mr Warner ran out of steam in the last couple of chapters, but for all that ‘Before it Breaks’ is still a True Blue read.  Too right, mate!  THREE STARS

The Year of the Runaways, by Sunjeev Sahota

Shortlisted for the 2015 Man Booker Prize, Sanjeev Sahota’s superb story of a year in the life of three of Britain’s illegal immigrants is hugely pertinent to the current plight of Eastern refugees in Europe, and deftly illustrates an underbelly of desperation and criminality of which few ordinary citizens are aware:  who would know of the sacrifices made to send the bus passenger sitting in front of them to England, in the hope that he might earn fabled amounts of money to send back home, thus keeping his family from begging on the Indian streets?

            Avtar is the eldest son in the family of a shawl seller in Mumbai.  Business is almost non-existent, and they are all dependent on his income as a bus conductor – which is terminated in terrible circumstances:  the only solution to keep his family from starving is to try to get to England, still regarded as the Land of Milk and Money, on a highly expensive student visa, made possible through sympathetic solicitors – who naturally are not at all accommodating when it comes to their fee.  An added complication is his love affair with Lakhpreet, the daughter of former neighbours who have also fallen on hard times:  their son Randeep will also be sent to England to earn fabulous money to keep his family in their accustomed prosperous style.  Randeep has entered into a marriage in name only with Narinder, a pious English-born Sikh girl who wishes to do good in her life according to her religious convictions.  They will not share an address, only coming together when visits are made by immigration inspectors.   

Avtar is reluctantly persuaded to keep an eye on the inexperienced, other-worldly Randeep, which he promises to do – but he still can’t raise enough money.

            Until he is forced to go to the criminal moneylenders, even after selling one of his kidneys and STILL falling short of the required amount:  his pain and desperation will all go away, he thinks, when he starts earning all those wonderful English pounds.  And having to look out for that baby Randeep won’t be so onerous – will it?

            True to form, England’s streets of gold are anything but;  it takes months to find construction work, where they are exploited mercilessly and eventually forced to work at several jobs so that they can send money home and still keep themselves from starving.  Their fragile dream has turned into a nightmare.  And to prove the caste system is still alive and flourishing, Tochi, a surly workmate of Avtar and Randeep is already living a nightmare:  his entire family were killed in political riots in India and he was set on fire, surviving by some miracle – so that he would never forget he is Chamaar:  Untouchable.  He too travels illegally to England, hoping that the caste system will be forgotten, only to discover that humiliation and shame will follow him wherever he goes.

            Mr Sahota’s characters draw us inexorably into their hardscrabble lives and we find that adversity does not breed companionship and loyalty as we would like to think:  desperation breeds betrayal on a large scale and revenge must be exacted. 

            This rich, beautifully written story will not leave the reader’s mind easily;  Avtar, Randeep, Tochi and Narinder are there to stay – unforgettable.  SIX STARS!!    

GREAT READS FOR MARCH, 2016

Grey, by E. L. James

            Oh dear.  Not content with reaching the end of her ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ trilogy, those torrid, florid and horrid tales of Hot Sex and True Lurv between  impossibly handsome control-freak megabillionaire Christian Grey and tongue-tied, accident-prone and furious blusher Anastasia Steele, E. L. James has apparently been coaxed by various adoring fans to tell the same story ALL OVER AGAIN!! - from Christian’s perspective.

            Was this really necessary?  And will Christian’s story and the tragic underlying reasons for his sadism be successful at continuing the adoring interest of millions of fans world-wide, ever ready to spend big bucks to continue the ‘Fifty Shades’ phenomenon started in 2012.  (See review below)

            I have to say that I am just as swept up in the furore as everyone else around the world – it’s that ‘What Happens Next?’ and ‘Whatever will She Come up With Now?’ curiosity that impels readers far and wide to explore Christian’s heart-rending origins – and to try to understand why he would find Wimpy Anastasia so very irresistible.  Right from the time of their first meeting when she fumbles and bumbles her way through an interview for her student magazine, he finds her naiveté and lack of experience (not to mention all that beetroot blushing) charming enough to think that she would make a very satisfactory Submissive – for Christian is an adept at Dominating and Subjugating.  All his women (and there are so many!) are required to be totally obedient, or they’ll get a Whuppin’,  and a whuppin’ from Beyond Handsome Christian is not a pleasant sexual encounter, unless one is a masochist.  He, though, has a great time.  Oh, that gorgeous captain of industry (‘it’s just a pretty face, baby’) has many issues, and let us not forget that he cannot stand to be touched!

            As his version of events unfolds, Christian shows many different sides to his character:  he airlifts at huge expense plane loads of food and supplies to starving Darfur;  he donates zillions of dollars to more worthy charities than one can shake a stick at (what does that mean?  My gran used to say that all the time), and donates just as much to universities.  He is a Prince among Men!  But his secrets are many:  only his adoptive family know some of the true story of his abusive childhood – and here, surprisingly, Ms James writes very movingly of Christian’s horrendous early memories;  in fact his nightmare-causing flashbacks, while extremely disturbing to read are evidence that Ms James can tell Christian’s story much better than dippy old Ana’s.

            BUT!!!  Christian finds that Ana has steel in her spine as well as her name when he displays his true needs and wants.  After leading virginal (!) Ana and the reader through some jolly and energetic Vanilla sex he decides it’s time to paddle her luscious bottom – oh, he has a glorious time but is staggered to hear that SHE didn’t!  And because she is no longer a virgin and has put away childish things, (including polite language) she tells him that he is ‘one f*cked-up son of a bitch’.  And leaves him to his nightmares.  What an exit!  Even Taylor, Christian’s general Factotum, is impressed as he reverently drives her to her humble home.

            Once again, we millions of seething fans await Book Two According to Christian:  we know that he and twerpy Ana will only be apart for five days, but how quickly can Ms James write the next episode? 

Flashy, trashy, and completely addictive:  for the first time, Christian’s in lurv.  Bring it on!      

50 Shades of Grey, by E. L. James

            Your library is ever mindful of the needs of its borrowers.  To that end it has faithfully supplied copies of E. L. James’s trilogy for those who wish to read it, and its popularity is such that some people could die on the waiting list.  Perish the thought, not those on the waiting-list, I say!

When this tale begins, Anastasia Steele is having a bad hair day and doesn’t have a suitable thing to wear for the interview she has been persuaded to do with MegaZillionaire Christian Grey for the student magazine.  Her room-mate, magazine editor Kate, the original interviewer, has the ‘flu.  As if that weren’t tarsome enough, the poor wee thing trips (because she’s accident prone) through the door to the Great Man’s MegaOffice.  As he rescues her from the floor and envelops her in his hot, gray gaze, all the usual things happen:  her heart falters;  she can’t meet his eyes (ah, those eyes, like a threatening sea on a windswept day!) she blushes furiously (she does this A LOT);  she asks her set questions in a monotone – ‘Are you Gay?’ – (all the while agog at his beauty, which frequently invokes bursts of great silent introspection: ‘ Holy Crap’, followed by ‘Holy Shit,’ then finally, ‘Holy F@@##!’).  Yep, she’s a deep thinker, alright.

For his part, MegaZillionaire Christian is undeniably impressed (why?  Anastasia is now redder than the sunset.  She blushes for Africa.) and attracted to the winsome, helpless, clueless interviewer and before one can say WATCH OUT ANA, PERVERT ALERT! he has her in his power.  And he doesn’t even have a moustache to twirl.  Yes, he’s a 21^st century cad, a dastard, no doubt about it – BUT! – after their first tumultuous coupling, where he is horrified to find that naïve Ana is that worst kind of innocent, a VIRGIN, she finds him hours later semi-nekkid in his cavernous living room, playing a mournful Bach arrangement on his grand piano sadly but superbly, (of course he is a wonderful musician, because he is excellent in all things) - this proves to readers (and there are so many of us!) that the dastard has a tragic side, a mysterious past which he refuses to reveal, and an aversion to being touched.

Naturally this presents some problems for Ana, who has never had a relationship before (WHAAAAT?!!  In her twenties and never been kissed?  Who is she, Jane Austen?).  She longs to touch him, to trail her fingers through his gorgeous, tousled chest hair, but he refuses.  She is extremely worried that she is ‘falling for a man who’s beyond beautiful, richer than Croesus, and has a Red Room of Pain waiting for me.’  Yep,  I’d be worried, too, but Ana places great faith in two friends:  her subconscious, ever her reliable moral compass, and her Inner Goddess, which is just a euphemism for Ho:  her Inner Goddess wins every time.  That girl is doomed.

And so is the reader (and there are SO many of us!), doomed to absorb the riveting fact that Christian’s eyes blaze when he whups Ana’s ass;  they’re haunted when he plays Bach superbly semi-nekkid, and hooded when he wishes to disguise his true feelings.  He steeples his fingers a lot, too.

Oh, this is a corny, horny, porny story:  it’s so trashy that it should be in a plain brown wrapper – but what power there is in word-of-mouth advertising!  E.L. James will never have to write another rude word;  she can just sit on the millions made from this trilogy like a chook on her eggs, if she wants to.  In the meantime, fans of Anastasia and Christian (and there are so MANY of us!) will press on with books two and three, because despite all the huffing, puffing, painful sex, Ana’s perpetual blushes and Christian’s steely gaze or wicked grins, we all have to know WHAT HAPPENS NEXT. 

When all is said and done, I must confess that I would rather go to bed with a good book than a fruitloop in a suit, (no matter how handsome!) but there’s no accounting for taste.  And there’s nowt so queer as folk as we all succumb to the lure of a worldwide best-seller, purely because everyone is saying:  ‘Have you read it yet?’

Read this torrid, tortured tale (if you haven’t already).  I think this is a Gross Read for Great Readers, but you be the judge.

            

MORE GREAT READS FOR FEBRUARY, 2016

In the Cold Dark Ground, by Stuart MacBride

Logan Balmoral MacRae is back, and about time, too, I say!  In the tried and true genre of Crime fiction – you know;  burnt-out detectives with shattered private lives but an uncanny knack for solving the most difficult crimes – well, Burn-Out Logan makes his recent experience of demotion to Police Sergeant in a small but dreary town in North East Scotland entirely credible.  Yes, he – and his team of fellow reprobate law-enforcers - all suffer from varying degrees of exhaustion and burn-out, but policing anywhere is a tough job: someone has to do it and they’ve put their hands up.  More fools them.

            Not much has changed since Logan’s last appearance in ‘The Missing and the Dead’ (see review below), except to worsen:  his beloved girlfriend Samantha has been in a coma for five years (truly!).  She will never wake and he has been told by hospital staff that it is time to say goodbye, a situation he has been dreading and shying away from even though his rational mind knows it is inevitable.  Another death is imminent:  wee Hamish Mowat, crime boss supreme of Aberdeen is in the terminal stages of cancer.  In a last conversation with Logan, wee Hamish informs him that he wishes Logan to take control of his empire for he knows that upon his death all the other crime lords from near and far will be circling like vultures, ready to break up his ‘life’s work’:  he is convinced that Logan (despite the fact that he is a Police Officer – how I wish I’d read all those earlier books!) will be the only one strong enough to hold it all together.  All this under the homicidally jealous eye of Reuben, the Reubenator, wee Hamish’s wing man who has the intimidatory strength to keep things going – but not the brains.  Reuben hates Logan, and Logan knows it is only a matter of time before the Reubenator mounts an attack.

            He is almost relieved when a conventional murder rears its ugly head:  a man’s naked body is found in the woods, hands bound behind his back and a rubbish bag taped over his head.  Despite the classic imitation of a local gangland-style killing, Logan is not convinced that the Bad Guys actually did this – for once, they are innocent – of this crime, anyway, and when the Major Investigation Team from Aberdeen (still run by his old boss and friend – and proud lesbian – DCI Steel) mounts an investigation, his suspicions prove to be correct.

            Sadly, Logan’s week from Hell doesn’t end there:  he is also asked by the Police Internal Professional Standards division to covertly investigate DCI Steel:  there is suspicion that she manufactured evidence to send a sexual predator and rapist to jail.  As much as everyone abhors his crimes (for which he was never convicted) Scottish justice has to be SEEN to be done:  who better to investigate Roberta Steel, than her trusted friend and confidante, the turkey-baster father of her children, Logan Balmoral MacRae.  Yes, let’s add betrayal to the list of Logan’s Lousy Week.

            Last but not least, a new Superintendent from the Serious Organised Crime Task Force is visiting and seems have taken an inexplicable and irrational dislike to him, thus making his life doubly miserable.  Could anything else go wrong?  Well, of course it can and it does, at a breakneck pace that this reader could barely stand – I wanted to yell ‘Slow down, slow down!!’ – and all because I didn’t want this mighty episode in the hapless (but not entirely hopeless) life and times of Logan to end.  Stuart MacBride is a storyteller Extraordinaire, a superb wordsmith who is in the enviable position of being unable to write fast enough to supply his readers’ demands.  FIVE STARS    

The Missing and the Dead, by Stuart MacBride

True to form, I have made the acquaintance of hapless detective Logan MacRae in the ninth book of his adventures – to my disadvantage, for Logan is a thriller reader’s treasure:  canny;  brave (well, of course!);   not averse to using unconventional methods to catch the crims – to the despair of his superiors;  messy private life (I’ll say:  his girlfriend’s been in a coma for FOUR YEARS.  Whaaaat???);  and the absolute loyalty and devotion of his team in rural Aberdeenshire, where he has been posted (a demotion?  Of course not, merely a ‘development opportunity’.  For whom?  Certainly not Logan). 

            Yep, Logan must have trodden on a lot of Brassy toes in the previous books to have been consigned to what is essentially scraping up drunks and druggies off the pavement on Saturday nights, and rounding up stray livestock (any old night).  A change of uniform from Detective Inspector to the bullet-proof vest and black T shirt of Police Scotland is a far cry from what he is used to, but he tries to be philosophical about his new circumstances and rounds up drunks, druggies and cows diligently – until the body of a little girl is found in an abandoned swimming pool just outside one of the small towns he polices.

            Despite the arrival of a Major Investigation Team, there are no leads as to the identity of the little girl,  in fact their enquiries seem to reach a dead end on every front – and the last thing they need is a maverick consigned to the sticks trying to stick his oar in.

                Enter Detective Chief Inspector Roberta Steel, Logan’s former partner, proud wife of Susan and mother of two daughters for whom Logan donated the sperm (yes, truly!  I wish I’d gotten onto these books sooner, then all these revelations would seem quite normal).  Regardless of her various little quirks (she is serially unfaithful) DCI Steel also thinks outside the square, and she needs Logan’s help.  Which is not forthcoming, for he has been ordered to stay away from all pending investigations, on pain of dismissal.  He has been accused – not entirely without foundation – of wrecking months of other peoples’ investigative work with his under-the-radar methods, so Steel will have to soldier on alone.

            This is a great read.  Mr MacBride has another more recent anti-hero, detective Ash Henderson in operation , which is how I was introduced to this latest opus.  What makes Mr MacBride’s stories so credible is his skill at writing of the foibles and vagaries of characters so real we can recognise in them people we know – and ourselves.  He is a superb storyteller, and lifts crime-writing up several notches with each book.  Highly recommended.

Napoleon’s Last Island, by Tom Keneally

In 2012 Australian author Thomas Keneally attended an exhibition in Melbourne of artifacts and mementos of Napoleon Bonaparte;  his ‘garments, uniforms, furniture, china, paintings, snuffboxes, military decorations and memorabilia’.  The origins of this collection intrigued him, for a large part of the trove was supplied by the Australian descendant of the Balcombe family, whose head was the providor and agent for the British East India Company on St. Helena, when Napoleon was exiled permanently to this island in the Atlantic after the Congress of Vienna decided his and Europe’s future in 1815.

            William Balcombe, his wife and family of five children had already been residents of St Helena for several years before Napoleon made his impressive arrival.  St Helena was an important trading stop for His British Majesty’s ships as they travelled east to Africa or west to the Americas.  Various regiments were garrisoned on the island and its benign Governor was provided by the British East India Company:  for the Balcombes the organisation and provision of stores for the troops as well as the locals gave them status and security that they would not enjoy back ‘home’ in England.  Life was good, and the arrival of Napoleon, ‘The Great Ogre’ and his colourful entourage, all of whom brought unaccustomed French Style and more than a whiff of celebrity notoriety, was  more excitement than the gossip-starved inhabitants had enjoyed in many a year.

            Betsy Balcombe, a name that leapt out at Mr Keneally at the exhibition was barely a teenager at this time, but he decided that he would tell of Napoleon’s last exile in her voice.  She kept a journal which he read, and this superb novel is narrated by her – that wilful, blunt and witty girl, ‘the Emperor’s chief friend and annoyer’.  She speaks to us eloquently of events and characters that are undimmed after two centuries, and the injustices, penury and exile her family endured (to the penal colony of Australia) thanks to their friendship and support for OGF – Our Great Friend, Napoleon Bonaparte.

            Betsy recounts that at first, the Ogre’s exile was comfortable;  he was billeted in a charming little pavilion on the Balcombe’s estate ‘The Briars’, and such was his charm and magnetism that many of the military who were ostensibly his guards availed themselves often of his august company, excellent wines and the exotic foods prepared by his personal chef.  William Balcombe in particular profited handsomely from all the entertaining, as it was his duty to provide all the ingredients for the Emperor’s table – a satisfying situation for everyone, until the Crown decided to relieve the British East India Company of its administrative power on St Helena.  Mild-mannered and tolerant Governor Wilkes was replaced by Sir Hudson Lowe (‘Lowe by name and Lowe by nature’ according to Betsy, coiner of many apt phrases), Napoleon’s new jailer, and one who took his position seriously.

            Governor Lowe has many questions, such as:  ‘This prisoner is living in great comfort.  In no other prison are prisoners afforded such conditions:  why is this?  Why is the prisoner allowed entertainments and exotic food?  Why does he have a retinue of servants?’  It is Lowe’s task – which becomes an obsession – to bring Napoleon to heel:  under Lowe’s watch, the self-styled Emperor will eat crow instead of chicken for the remainder of his miserable life.  Luxury is now a thing of the past.

            Mr Keneally has reconstructed  history in thrilling fashion;  what a master he is at breathing wonderful life into his characters great and small, especially Betsy, who misses nothing, speaks her mind – and even uses her fists when she must.  If she were alive today she would be Australian Prime Minister!  FIVE STARS     

GREAT READS FOR FEBRUARY, 2016

A Little Life, by Hanya Yanagihara

This story is a heart-breaker.  And it could break wrists,too, from its size

 and weight if the reader is tackling a hard copy, for Ms Yanagihara has constructed a giant of a novel in all respects.  There are no happy endings here:  its themes are horrifying and indescribably sad, but there is also much to celebrate in this huge opus;  spare, beautiful prose, wonderful characters and an epic story that never flags:  what more could a reader want?

            Four young men, fast friends and Ivy League graduates, are establishing themselves in New York, city of ambition and mecca for all those aspiring to carve out a reputation in the arts and commerce.  Malcom Irvine, lucky scion of a rich family, has trained to be an architect and thanks to his parents’ wealth, fully expects to achieve eventual success.  Jean-Baptiste Marion, (JB) of Haitian origin, is the group’s aspiring artist;  he makes up for his lack of money by having a larger-than-life personality which endears him to his friends but his mouth sometimes gets him into trouble.  Willem Ragnarsson, Wyoming import and like all handsome waiters, an aspiring actor – ‘a kind boy who grew into a kind man’, is flatmate of Jude St. Francis, law graduate, and the star of the group – because he is so gifted he could have chosen a career as a mathematician, a classical pianist, or an opera singer:  instead he has decided on the law. 

            Everybody loves Jude;  he is kind and loyal, generous to a fault – but he has huge secrets.  He wears long-sleeved shirts, always, even when it is high summer.  No-one has ever seen him without clothes;  he walks with a pronounced limp and at times appears to be in severe pain.  He refuses to discuss his origins and expertly fobs off those who enquire.  Jude is a mystery to all and his friends in particular, but for the most part (JB being the noisy exception) they respect his privacy and feel that eventually he will reveal more about himself.

            But he never does.  As the years pass, the friends establish themselves in their various careers, becoming exactly what they want to be, achieving success beyond all expectations, and Willem has found fame as a movie star -  which is thrilling, but he can’t help thinking that his very self is disappearing, overwhelmed by the many different ‘selves’ he is hired to play.  His most concrete reality is his friendship with Jude, most treasured companion and the person who needs him most, for Jude, whose success in law is awe inspiring, has many demons that seem intent on consuming him -  but he still won’t seek help or talk about his past, or why his body is covered with scars.

            Jude’s life, which he considers worthless and little is a mighty achievement against terrible odds.  This is a story about love;  the many permutations of it and the enormous cruelties and injustices committed in its name.  Ms Yanigahara’s characters personify every variation and do her justice on every page.  What a tour de force she has created:  anyone who reads this will not forget it easily.  With this massive master work she has created a major place for herself in contemporary American literature.   SIX STARS!!

The Secret Chord, by Geraldine Brooks

Biblical King David, mighty warrior of Judah and bringer of lasting unity to the tribes of Israel;  founder of The City of David called Jerusalem, yet still a man of the people, able to commune intimately with the most lowly and gain their permanent loyalty;  David, kingly in every way, blessed with strength and beauty and possessed of a divine gift to compose and perform celestial music with voice and harp;  David, anointed by The Name as the ruler to establish and lead a powerful empire.

            David, ruthless strategist and schemer for his own ends, a killing machine in battle when the bloodlust is upon him, and able to perform the most bloodthirsty and terrible crimes ‘because it was necessary’;  David, lover of Jonathan but married to Jonathan's sister, the first of a long line of wives, all necessary to make sons.  Pulitzer Prizewinning author Geraldine Brooks brings David’s life and times to stark reality, capturing the reader from the first page to the last as she writes with elegance and grace of a man who was touched by The Divine, a man whose name has reverberated throughout history;  whose legend is as strong as ever.

            The device of having someone humble narrate a history of his master is not new, but Ms Brooks uses it to great effect when she introduces Natan, David’s Prophet to tell their story.  Natan is ten years old and tending his father’s sheep when he meets David, outlawed by King Saul, who is in the depths of madness.  David politely requests that Natan’s father give them supplies, a request that is furiously refused, to the eternal consternation of Natan’s village, for it is soon laid waste by David’s killers.  As Natan stands in his father’s blood he is seized by a voice not his own, a voice that promises David ‘a throne, an empire and a line that would never fail throughout the generations.’  And Natan’s path is also clear:  he must make his life for better or worse,  with David, as a receptacle for the mighty voice which speaks through him whenever The Name wishes pronounce judgement.

            Through the years Natan observes David’s triumphs – and his sins;  the lust David could not control for Bathsheba, wife of Uriah, one of his most loyal and principled commanders:  to have her David engineers Uriah’s murder, arranged as a convenient death on the battlefield.  Natan watches with growing horror as David’s indulgence and spoiling of his beloved sons  culminates in incest, rape and fratricide – all seen in awful visions by David’s prophet, who is unable to prevent any of it happening.

            The Name is exacting retribution for David’s hubris.  It is time to make him repent.

            And so he does, but there are more hard lessons to learn, especially involving the treachery of his sons, each vying for the kingship:  Natan records it all;  his master’s history, every last act, good and bad.  Ms Brook has done marvellous justice to a towering historical figure, taking the reader to The Land of the Bible, Land of Milk and Honey, Land of the Fathers, and Land of David, Father of a Line that never failed, throughout the Generations.  This is a great book.  SIX STARS!!!