Fangs for Nothing, by Steffanie Holmes.

 

            Lord Alaric Valerian has a problem:  his imperious mother is coming to visit his castle and will be appalled at the mess his various artistic endeavours have created;  his butler Reginald advises him to employ for a short time one  of those 21^st century ‘unclutterers’ who managed to ruthlessly weed out what one doesn’t need and tastefully display what one does.  The only snag with that plan is that Lord Alaric has been a vampire for several hundred years – he sleeps during the day and stays awake all night.  He literally cannot stand sunlight; it’s liable to burn him to a very unattractive frazzle, so working with the human Unclutterer will present myriad different problems – but none so dire as his mother’s reaction to his hoarding addiction:  she wants to hold a ball at the castle, inviting all the others of their kind (their numbers are higher than you would think, in fact one vampire property entrepreneur has started developing a very exclusive enclave in the village adjoining Alaric’s castle) and her rage would be incendiary if she saw it buried in all his clutter. 

            So.  A human Unclutterer it is.  Enter Winifred Preston, Unclutterer Supreme, with the scars to prove it:  her mother is a Hoarder with a PHD in rubbish;  consequently, Winnie is obsessively neat and a champion at discarding that which is unnecessary to one’s immediate environment:  she’s the girl for the job, alright – until she meets her future boss unexpectedly and in awkward circumstances, as he chivalrously helps her ward off a creep at the local pub:  a kiss is exchanged and the groundwork is laid for Red Hot Romance.

            Well, of course it is!  This is a Cozy Vampire Romance, after all, but what fun it is keeping up with all the great characters, especially the Nevermore Book Club et al, a group of ladies whom Winnie befriends as much to find out info about her new employer (who keeps very odd hours!) as to make new friends.  It takes Winnie some time before she realises what kind of unique person Alaric actually is, and by that time she is totally enamoured of him (he’s not just astoundingly handsome;  he also has a heart of gold – and a sense of humour!)  She can’t go wrong.  Except that his mum doesn’t like her and there have been several attacks on the locals lately, causing much fear and concern:  are they random one-offs, or is there a serial killer operating in the village?

            No-one is any the wiser at story’s end, so all Ms Holmes’s fans (and they are legion) are fervently hoping there will be a book two – the sooner the better – especially as Ms Holmes is a great successor to all the Vampire authors who came before her - and she’s very, very funny.  And don’t we need fun to distract us in our reading these days!  FIVE STARS.

 

The Listeners, by Maggie Stiefvater.

 

            December 7^th, 1941:  the American Naval Base at Hawaii’s Pearl Harbour has been bombed by the Japanese and, whether American citizens like it or not, they are now fighting in the Second World War.  What to do with the Axis Diplomats and their families and staff members who have enjoyed very comfortable residency as their country’s representatives up until now:  Germany, Italy and the Japanese legation are not allowed to ‘go home’, however much citizens would want them to, for American diplomats in the Axis countries have been similarly detained but in the interests of strict neutrality, Swiss diplomats make certain that each country’s representatives are treated fairly, right down to the books they are permitted to read weekly (one each) – and how many newspapers they can see weekly (one each). 

            The State Department is in charge of all the day-to-day logistics and has recruited several FBI Special Agents to ‘assist’, a euphemism for spying and listening-in wherever possible to various conversations in various languages;  to say that their destination – a luxurious West Virginia mountain hotel – will be onerous and boring is utter nonsense, especially when the G-men encounter the attractive and always obliging staff:  yes, this is definitely an assignment with a difference, but!

            War has intruded on the Avallon, the beautiful Appalachian hotel selected to house all the fine enemy diplomats, and Manager June Hudson must be host to all three hundred of them, a task that doesn’t faze her for her training by the Gilfoyle family who own the hotel has been extensive and thorough;  she expects the minimum of trouble from her illustrious guests and in the main they fulfil her expectations – until the 10 year-old daughter of one of the German diplomats has a screaming fit one day and is quickly sedated by one of his friends.  It is later revealed that the little girl will be euthanized when she returns to Germany, as is usual with anyone with mental problems. Or anyone with a disability.  Something must be done, and soon, for the detainees are expecting to be sent back to their various countries by the State Department, just as soon as their own representatives are sent home.

            Yes, something must be done, but what?  And when?

Ms Stiefvater has a beautiful writing style, revealing gradual facts about her characters rather than too much information too quickly;  her love for the area of which she writes is palpable and makes one wish that we could all revel in such unspoiled beauty.  She also doesn’t hold back on the poverty and sadness that ruled mountain people’s lives at that time and her many and varied characters are all a pleasure to meet – even the bad guys!  And there are many of them, many who steadfastly look away, too – the ‘Nothing-to-do-with Me ‘ club.  It’s up to June to change their minds.  FIVE STARS.